Why do I get angry when people say “this is the best time of your life”?
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Question from Priya D., 32, Canada. Mama to 11-month-old baby boy Greg.
Recently left her job to stay home full-time. Everyone around her keeps saying how “lucky” she is, but she’s grappling with a loss of identity, adult connection, and daily autonomy.
Mama,
People kept telling me —
“Soak it up.”
“These are the best days.”
“You’ll miss this one day.”
And every time, it made me flinch.
Because if this was the best time of my life, then why did I feel like I was drowning?
The days were long, the nights even longer.
My body didn’t feel like mine.
My mind was foggy.
My name wasn’t even mine anymore — I was just “Mom.”
And I felt guilty for not loving it more.
I wanted to scream — I love my babies.
But I also miss being someone who wasn’t needed every second of the day.
I miss laughing without a monitor in my hand.
I miss conversations that weren’t about diapers, feeds, and sleep regressions.
Why do I feel invisible as a mom?
Because sometimes I am. Even to myself.
The truth is — not all seasons of life are joyful just because they’re fleeting.
Some are just hard. And they still count.
This doesn’t mean we don’t love our babies.
It just means we’re human — layered and longing.
I finally let myself admit:
This season is sacred, yes.
But it’s also brutal.
It’s okay to say both.
It’s okay to want more than survival.
It’s okay to want postpartum emotional support.
It’s okay to admit that motherhood isn’t all glow and giggles — sometimes, it’s a silent grief for the version of you that got buried.
For me, that healing started in the smallest ways:
An honest conversation.
A walk without pushing a stroller.
Wearing a supportive maternity bra that didn’t dig or remind me of how different my body felt.
Tiny things. But they helped me feel like me again.
Not just the mom version — the whole me.
So no, maybe this isn’t the best time of your life.
And that doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you real.
You’re allowed to want more.
Love,
Lina P.