Why do I feel so much pressure to bounce back after having a baby?

Question from Paula G., 29, Cudillero, Spain. Mom to a 4-month-old baby boy, Emir.

Sofia is a first-time mom, navigating postpartum life in a small town where her body has become a topic of casual commentary. She’s grieving the identity she used to know and feeling crushed under the weight of expectations to “get her body back.”

Mama, 

Let me start here: you are not broken. You are rebuilding. And that deserves reverence — not a rushed deadline.

I remember standing in front of the mirror six weeks postpartum with my twins and not recognizing myself. Not just because of the stretch marks or the belly that still looked six months pregnant — but because the person looking back at me seemed gone. I felt like my body had been hijacked, softened, reshaped, and returned to me with a note that said: Okay, now fix it.

That pressure to “bounce back after having a baby” is everywhere — from influencers posting flat stomachs three days postpartum, to well-meaning friends saying, “You’ll be back to your old self in no time!”
But here’s the truth:

• You are not meant to “bounce back.”
  
• You are allowed to take up space in the body that grew your child.
  
• You are not failing because you’re healing slowly.

The idea that we should erase all signs of motherhood from our bodies is not just cruel — it’s deeply dishonest. Because the real postpartum body isn’t broken. It’s evidence. Of sacrifice. Of strength. Of survival.

When they tell you to bounce back, what they’re really saying is:
“Make us comfortable. Look like you didn’t just go through something life-altering.”

But you did.

You grew a whole human. Maybe you tore. Maybe you bled. Maybe your abdominal wall separated. Maybe your hips still ache and your hair is falling out and your jeans don’t button and your confidence is hiding under nursing pads and night sweats.

That doesn’t mean you’re less.

It means you’re in process.

Postpartum recovery isn’t a countdown to skinny. It’s a sacred, messy, miraculous return to yourself — but a new self. One who knows more. One who’s held life in her body and now holds the weight of motherhood in her bones.

You’re allowed to want to feel strong again. But not because society says you should. Because you deserve to feel good in your skin.
And that might take time.
And softness. And patience.
And maybe a maternity bra that doesn’t dig into your ribs (Bloom & Heal makes a dreamy one — wire-free, supportive, and soft enough to nap in).

But most of all, it’ll take permission. To not rush. To not disappear. To not believe that the goal is to erase what you’ve just survived.

You don’t owe anyone a “bounce back.”
You owe yourself grace.

Love,
Lina P.