Why do I feel jealous of my childless friends?

Question from Jess A., 29, Texas, USA. Mama to 15-month-old baby girl Ava.

A first-time mom adjusting to life as a stay-at-home mom while her best friends continue living child-free, adventurous, and spontaneous lives.

Mama, 

There were days I didn’t want to check my group chat.

Weekend getaways. Bottomless brunches. Last-minute concerts.
And there I was — hair in a knot, shirt crusted with dried milk, Googling “why won’t my baby nap.”

I love my babies. Deeply. Fiercely.
But I’d be lying if I said I never felt a pang of jealousy when I saw my friends living the kind of freedom I used to have.

Is it normal to feel jealous of your friends without kids?
Yes. God, yes.

I envied their rest. Their quiet mornings and spontaneous nights.
Not because I wanted to trade places — but because I was grieving the ease.

The ease of choosing myself. The ease of silence.
The ease of one identity, not fifteen all layered in spit-up and expectations.

Motherhood is beautiful.
But it’s also loud, relentless, and demanding.

Feeling resentment in early motherhood doesn’t make you a bad mom.
It means you’re human. A human who needs rest. Joy. Adult connection.
And yes — a moment to breathe without being needed.

I started small:
Asking for a full morning alone.
Buying something just for me.
Wearing my soft, wire-free nursing bra under clothes that made me feel like a woman again — not just a milk machine.

Tiny rebellions. But they mattered.
Because every time I poured a little back into me, I showed up better for them.

So to the mom scrolling social media wondering why she feels envious of people with no diapers to change — I see you.

You don’t need to pretend.
You just need space to feel.

Freedom looks different now.
But you still deserve pieces of it — guilt-free.

Love,
Lina P.