Why do I feel guilty for wanting motherhood to feel easier?

Question from Clara J., 33, Kansas City, U.S. Mom to a 6-month-old baby girl, Luna. 

Clara is a stay-at-home mom who left her job in customer service to raise her daughter. Everyone tells her she’s “lucky” to be home — but the mental, emotional, and physical labor of motherhood is so much heavier than she ever imagined. She's grateful — but also silently pleading for relief.

Mama, 

Here’s what no one warns you: It’s possible to be completely in love with your baby and still quietly wish motherhood didn’t feel so relentless.
Not because you’re ungrateful.
But because you’re human.

I’ve been there.
The twins were only 3 months old when I caught myself daydreaming about silence. Just one whole day where no one touched me. Where I could eat a sandwich with two hands and scroll my phone without guilt.

And then the shame would hit.
Was I a bad mom for wanting ease?
Did wishing it felt lighter mean I wasn’t strong enough?

But here’s what I’ve learned in the trenches:

• Motherhood isn’t supposed to break you to prove you love your baby.
  
• Wanting motherhood to feel easier isn’t selfish — it’s a sign you’re overwhelmed, not unloving.
• Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It means you’re listening to your limits.

We don’t give out medals for who suffered the most in motherhood.
But we should give out more hugs to the ones holding everything without falling apart — even though they feel like they might.

And yes — sometimes it starts with the small things.

• A moment alone with a hot drink.
• A soft, wire-free maternity bra that doesn’t feel like a cage (like Bloom & Heal's).
  
• Permission to whisper, “I love them… and I still wish this felt less heavy.”

You are allowed to crave softness.
You are allowed to grieve how hard this has been.
And you are allowed to say:
“I want this to feel easier.”
That is not failure.
That is truth.
That is a brave, beautiful mom finally honoring her own needs, too.

Love,
Lina P.