Is it wrong to feel jealous of moms who seem to love motherhood?

Question from Tasha L., 27, Seattle, U.S. Mom to a 7-month-old baby boy, Carlo.

Tasha scrolls Instagram while rocking her daughter to sleep. The screen is filled with other new moms who look effortlessly happy — radiant, made-up, laughing in sun-drenched nurseries. She doesn’t want to resent them. But some nights, she does. Because while they’re posting about the beauty of new motherhood, Tasha is crying into her cold coffee, wondering what’s wrong with her for not feeling the same.

Mama, 

It’s not wrong.
It’s not bad.
And you’re not broken.

You’re a mom — a real one, living the full, messy, unfiltered version of motherhood. And it’s okay to feel jealous of the ones who seem to be loving every minute. Because sometimes, their joy shines a spotlight on your pain. And that contrast can ache like hell.

When I was in the thick of the newborn haze with my twins, I’d see other moms saying things like “soaking up every moment” or “never been so happy” — and I’d want to scream.
Because I wasn’t soaking it in.
I was soaking through breast pads and burp cloths and tears I didn’t have time to process.
I loved my babies, but I didn’t love how motherhood felt at the time. And that truth left me gasping with guilt.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Just because something looks beautiful on the outside doesn’t mean it’s not messy behind the scenes.
Just because someone else is enjoying motherhood doesn't mean you're failing at it.
And just because you're struggling doesn't mean you love your baby any less.

Postpartum jealousy is more common than we admit. Especially when you’re sleep-deprived, touched out, and silently wondering if you're the only one who feels like she's drowning while everyone else is glowing.

You're not.

Sometimes the glow you see online is just good lighting. Sometimes it's genuine joy — and sometimes, it's curated survival. And either way, it doesn’t mean your pain isn’t valid.

You’re not less of a mother for needing help, for missing your old life, or for craving ease in a season that feels anything but. You are allowed to feel all of it — the grief, the love, the joy, the envy.

In fact, feeling jealous of happy moms postpartum is often just another sign that you’re hurting, not heartless.

You’re allowed to want softness.
You’re allowed to mourn the version of motherhood you imagined.
And you’re allowed to take up space with your struggle — even if it doesn’t fit into an Instagram square.

You are mothering. You are showing up. You are doing it — even when it doesn’t feel picture-perfect. And that matters more than you know.

Also? If your body is begging for comfort right now, be gentle with it. I remember wearing my wire-free bras from Bloom & Heal for the first time in those early months — and somehow, that tiny act of softness felt like a whisper to myself: You deserve to feel okay too.

You're not wrong for feeling this way. You’re just real. And that’s more than enough.

Love,
Lina P.