Is it normal for me to WANT to go back to work right after having a baby? Does that make me a bad mom?

Question from Nadine L., 36, Christchurch, New Zealand. Mom to a 6-month-old baby girl, Isla.

Nadine works as a graphic designer. She’s passionate about her career but struggles with guilt and judgment from others about her choice to work soon after birth. Juggling sleepless nights and deadlines, she often feels like she’s not living up to either role fully.

Mama, 

I see you. I see the tug-of-war in your heart — the love for your baby and the pull to get back to work. When I had my twins, I remember feeling this exact storm swirling inside me.

Everyone seemed to have an opinion: “You’re missing out,” or worse, the silent judgment when they saw me typing emails between feedings.

Some days, I felt like I was betraying this sacred new life by wanting to work. I worried if I was “good enough” — as a mom or as a professional. But here’s the truth I wish someone had whispered to me: wanting to work doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a whole woman trying to hold pieces of yourself while giving everything to your babies.

I found moments of peace sitting at my desk, knowing that work wasn’t stealing me from motherhood but adding to my sense of self. It reminded me I’m still me, beyond spit-up and sleepless nights.

But that guilt? It didn’t just vanish. It hung around, quiet but heavy, whispering that maybe I was choosing wrong.

What helped me was giving myself permission — permission to love my babies fiercely and to want something beyond motherhood. To be honest with my feelings, and to let go of the impossible idea of “perfect mom.” We don’t owe anyone an explanation for balancing our lives how we need to.

So if you’re feeling torn, know you’re not alone. It’s okay to want your career, your identity, your spark back. It doesn’t diminish the love you have for your baby — it enhances your whole self, which is exactly what your family needs.

Keep holding on, mama. You’re doing better than you think.

Love,
Lina P.