Why do I feel like I'm doing everything wrong every time I have to leave the house with my baby?

Question from Jazmine R., 27, Vancouver, Canada. Mom to a 3-month-old baby girl, Vanessa.

Since giving birth, even her small outings feel terrifying. She constantly second-guesses herself, avoids errands, and feels like everyone is watching and judging when her baby cries in public.

Mama, 

It starts the second I even think about leaving.
Diaper bag, bottles, wipes, burp cloths, spare outfits, pacifier... wait, two pacifiers for each twin just in case.

My brain spins out in thirty different directions before I’ve even zipped the bag.
What if they cry in the checkout line? What if I forgot something? What if the stroller wheel sticks, or someone glares at me when I breastfeed in public again?

Some days, the panic starts so quietly I don’t even realize it’s there until I’m sweating in the car, double-checking every pocket like I’m going on a 12-hour expedition instead of a 20-minute grocery run.

And here’s the part that stings:
By the time I back out of the driveway, I already feel like I’m failing.
Not because I’ve actually done anything wrong...
But because motherhood outside the walls of our home can feel like being thrown to the wolves—with no armor, no shield, and no margin for error.

I used to be someone who loved errands.
I’d go for drives just to get a coffee. I'd run to the store with music playing and the windows down, just for fun. I never thought twice about leaving the house.

But now?
Now it feels like prepping for battle.
And if anything goes wrong—even something small like a diaper leak or a public cry—my whole body floods with shame. I feel like I’m letting everyone down.
My babies. Myself. The strangers around me who I imagine are silently judging every move.

But here’s what I’m learning—slowly, tenderly, one outing at a time:
This fear doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom.
It means I care.
It means I’m trying so hard to do this right… in a world that doesn’t make space for how heavy it really is.

So if you’ve ever stood in the doorway wondering if it’s worth the trip…
If you’ve ever panicked in the back of an Uber because you know your baby’s about to cry again…
If you’ve ever felt like public motherhood is just one big performance and you’re always a little off-script—

You’re not broken.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just carrying so much love and responsibility in a world that rarely acknowledges the invisible weight of it.

And no matter how clumsy or chaotic it feels, showing up counts.
Leaving the house counts.
Loving your baby while second-guessing yourself counts.

You are not alone in this.
I see you—diaper bag, tears, doubts and all.

Love,
Lina P.