Why do I feel like I wasn’t meant to be a mom?

Question from Tay F., 29, Australia. Mama to a 4-month-old baby girl. 

There were nights I laid in bed with one twin on my chest and the other crying in the bassinet beside me — and I wondered if they made a mistake.

Not them, my babies.
Me.

I didn’t feel like a natural. I didn’t glow like the other moms on Instagram.
I didn’t even feel connected to my body — let alone my instincts.

They said I’d “just know.”
But instead, I Googled how to swaddle.
I watched YouTube videos on “how to love your baby when you feel numb.”
I clutched the baby monitor and sobbed into the couch at 2am because it all felt too big.

The diapers. The nursing sessions. The pressure to enjoy it.
And this crushing fear that maybe I wasn’t cut out for any of it.

And that guilt?
It nearly swallowed me.

But here's the part no one said out loud: Not all of us fall into motherhood gracefully.
Some of us crawl. Some of us resent how hard it is.
Some of us grow into it slowly — breath by breath, breakdown by breakdown.

One thing that helped me crawl forward?
Making room for me, too. I started with one thing that felt like mine — a soft bra that didn’t pinch or remind me of how much my body hurt.
I sat by the window, sipped tea while they napped, and told myself:
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

This might not look like the story you expected — but it’s still yours.
And you’re doing it. Even when it’s messy. 

Even when you don’t feel like you’re enough — you are.

You're a mother.
Even if it doesn't come easy. Even if you're still figuring it out.

And you're not alone.

Love,
Lina P.