Why do I feel like I’m doing everything wrong?

Question from Lee Yu K., 27, Brisbane, Australia. Mama to 3-month-old baby Scott.

Lee Yu is a first-time mom overwhelmed by parenting advice online and from family. She second-guesses every decision and feels constant pressure to “get it right.”

Mama,

I remember sitting on the couch at 2am, holding one twin while the other finally slept, and just sobbing. Not from exhaustion (though yes, that too). But from the constant doubt.

Was I doing this all wrong?

Should I have breastfed longer?
Should I have picked them up sooner? Later?
Should I even be this tired if I were doing it “right”?

Every decision felt like a minefield — and every choice seemed to come with judgment. From the books. From strangers. From family. From myself.

I remember Googling "why do I feel like a bad mom all the time?" while rocking one twin with my foot and trying not to cry into my cold coffee.

But here's what I wish someone had told me sooner: you are allowed to question things and still be an amazing mom.

You’re learning a new language — the language of your baby. The language of yourself, as a mother. And of course it takes time. There’s no manual. There’s no “right” way. There’s just your way. Messy, beautiful, trial-and-error love.

What helped me turn the corner — just a little — was letting go of the idea that I had to be confident to be competent.

You can be unsure and still show up.
You can question everything and still be doing beautifully.
You can fall apart and rebuild in the same breath.

That’s the part no one talks about when it comes to postpartum self-doubt — how normal it is to feel lost in the beginning.

I started wearing my Bloom & Heal nursing bra not because it would “fix” anything, but because I needed one thing in my day that felt soft. Supportive. Like it saw the version of me under all the guilt and guesswork. That little shift helped me anchor back into my body when my mind was spiraling.

Lee Yu, I promise you’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just doing it real. And real is more than enough.

You’re not alone in the overwhelm. And you’re not failing.
You're mothering through the fog — and that’s brave as hell.

Love,
Lina P.