Why do I feel guilty for needing time away from my baby?

Question from Shania M., 29, US. Mama to 6-month-old baby Grace

A stay-at-home mom who’s with her baby 24/7 and feels deeply conflicted for craving alone time — even just to shower or take a walk in silence. She's overwhelmed by guilt and pressure to "soak up every moment."

Mama,

The first time I said out loud that I needed a break, I whispered it like a sin.

“I just… need a minute.”

But the second the words left my mouth, guilt came rushing in —like a tidal wave of shame.

Because what kind of mom wants to get away from her babies?

What kind of mother counts the minutes until nap time just to hear herself think?

I'll tell you.

A human one.
A tired one.
A mom whose body, mind, and soul are stretched paper-thin and still expected to smile through it.

No one tells you that postpartum self-care can feel like betrayal.
That the first time you leave the house without your baby — even just to walk around the block —you might cry the whole way there.

Not because you’re sad.
But because it feels wrong to choose yourself.
Even for 20 minutes.

But you know what?

You’re not choosing yourself instead of your baby.
You’re choosing yourself for your baby. Because burnt-out moms can’t bloom.

I didn’t understand that at first.
I thought being “a good mom” meant being everything, all the time.
Never needing a break. Never saying no.
Never feeling touched out, worn down, or emotionally gone.

But that version of motherhood?
It nearly broke me.

It wasn’t until I claimed the smallest pockets of space — a hot shower, a walk with no stroller, a soft nursing bra that didn’t make me ache —that I remembered: I still exist.

I’m still here.
And I matter, too.

So if you're feeling guilty for needing time away —don’t.
You’re not running from your baby.

You're walking back to yourself.
One quiet breath at a time.

And you deserve that.

Love,
Lina P.