Is it bad to miss my pre-mom body so much?

Question from Carla M., 28, Argentina. Mom of 5-month-old twins.

Oh mama, please hear this loud and clear: missing your pre-mom body doesn’t make you selfish, shallow, or ungrateful. It makes you human. And honestly? I think more of us need to say that out loud.

I remember staring at my closet and feeling like a stranger in my own skin. Nothing fit. My body felt foreign. And don’t even get me started on the bras — stiff, tight, digging into my ribcage like they were punishing me for changing. I would cry while nursing, not just from the exhaustion but from feeling like I had disappeared under layers of stretchy fabrics and unmet expectations.

We’re constantly told to “bounce back” or “love your mom bod,” as if grief over the body you once knew means you don’t love your baby. That’s simply not true. I adore my twins — fiercely. But I also missed the body that felt like mine.

What shifted things for me wasn’t chasing a number on a scale. It was choosing softness over shame. It was the first time I slipped into a wire-free bra that moved with me instead of fighting me. I cried — not because of how I looked, but because for the first time since giving birth, I felt a little more like me. 💗

You deserve to feel good in your skin now — not someday. Not when the baby sleeps through the night. Not when your jeans zip again. Right. Now. What is one thing you could do for yourself right now to make you feel better? For me, it was one bra. For you, it could be wearing cute, flowy dresses. 

This isn’t about vanity. It’s about honoring your body for everything it’s done — and still letting yourself grieve the loss of what once was. Both can be true. And both deserve compassion. 🌷

Love,
Lina P.